The Silence in Words
by MarvelSuperHero
Summary: Easton Collins. Fangirl on Earth, spends her time on Tumblr and doing combat; She fights for what is right then suddenly she suddenly comes Middle Earth, and becomes family. But she is falling for a blonde dwarf. The same dwarf who made her play a game with her. Lets see who wins... Rated T because I want to be safe. More on Movie Hobbit
1. Meeting the Thorin Okenshield

**I do not own HOBBIT. I only own my OC.**

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Easton POV

I only remember walking towards the combat centre, with my bag. And all the sudden I have falled out of the bloody sky. I groaned and I see that I landed on my bag. I groaned Once more."Oh for fuck sakes." I said sitting up and see a man running towards me. "Are you alright missy?" I heard a gruff voice. I then realise it was the THORIN OKENSHIELD. Like My favourite book and movie the hobbit. "Do I look okay to you?" I asked sarcastically. He chuckled. "I am Thorin Okenshield." I rose an eyebrow, wow this man is... Dramatic.

"Easton Collins. Pleasure to meet you." I greeted standing up. "Where at you from East?" I started at him, more like down at him since I was taller. "Nickname already? I'm from heart and soul of London, England! Is that enough information,king under the mountain?" He was surprise. "I've never told you I was a king and I have never heard that place before." I sighed and sat down. "I come from a different world to you. We have different langauges, we have a book based on your journey." I explained. "We would think your world will be hard to live in. But you could say the same thing about our world." I said. As he just look at me. "I thought you wouldn't believe me." I sighed.

"No! I believe you. But may I know how this journey finish?" I opened my mouth then remember he and his nephew die. Oh shit. Think East." That would be spoilers, would it not? I may ruin the whole journey." Thorin nodded. "Would you like to join?" He asked. I swear my eyes must have lit up. "Oh. Yes please! I've never gone on an adevnture!" Thorin smiled. "Come along. We are just heading to bag end." She grabbed her bag and walked next to Thorin. Thorin started to play 20 questions.

"What's in your bag?" He asked. I shrugged. "Dunno, My weapons, my water bottle my headphones and my book." I said. "Weapons?" I shrugged. "Yeah, like a twin sword and throwing knives and shit like that." He looked impressed. "What was your parents like?" I stopped as he carried on walking. "East?" He asked calmly. We walked and I had to explain. "My parents were amazing. My mother was a doctor aka healer. But my mother died with a terrible illness. My father was a police aka crime stopper. My father died when I was ten. I watch him being murdered. I've been an orphan for ten years." I said,sighing. "My mum was kind and loving. My dad was gentle and protective. They always comforted me when I had a nightmare. Now they're gone." I was pulled into a big hug by Thorin.

Wait, Thorin is being nice to me. Like What the Fuck?! I mean he is suppose to be strong, heroic and a leader, who shows no emotions. Who is this side to Thorin Okenshield? I think I broke him. Shit ... I broke an amazing leader. "Don't worry. I bet they are proud of you!" I rolled my eyes and pushed him off. "I don't like hugs." I huffed and crossed my Arms. As he chuckled at my childish ways.

The few days went a breeze like seriously. Me and Thorin have this weird daughter and father bond. He learns more about me. I learnt that he likes to be dramatic. He learnt I like to sarcastic when someone says something highly idiotic. Oh! I started to call Thorin. Thor, you know from the Marvel series. I wanted to call him Pa. Which I can but I find it funny, how he doesn't like to be call Thor. Oh, you want to hear the story I started to call him Pa? Well...

It was the middle of the night, I couldn't get to sleep after a horrifying nightmare, not about my father. Thorin. I watch Thorin get killed by Azog. Like the books did. I had tears running down my face. I look across me and see Thorin sleeping. I debated to weather to go to Thorin or not. So I stand up and slowly made myself to Thorin. I carefully shook him. "Thorin?" I asked softly. "East?" I nodded. "Did you have a nightmare?" I nodded, he opened his arms and I literally slam myself into them and cried on his chest. As he soothes me, I slowly fall asleep. "Thanks Pa." I remember saying.

The next day, he mention it. "You call me Pa." I nodded. Stuffing my phone into the bag. "Why?" I sighed and turn to him. "Ever since mum died, I had nightmares that was his turn. But he always told me. He is still there. He will protect me and he always told me they aren't real. When you said it. It was a habit of mine." I said, standing next to him. And that is the story how I can get to call him Pa!

We were in Bree. I can recognise it. It has been a long 5 days. I had to explain what was a Car, a phone, a hairdryer and Technology. Like, how am I going to live without those supplies. I guess, I got here for a what fucking reason?I figured that I have to do more explaining to the dwarves. I look over to Thorin. "I want you to go ahead. Find a house that has a mark." Thorin explained. "But Pa! That sounds like really hard work." He rose an eyebrow and shot me a stern look. "Alright, alright,alright!" I said moving out of his sight. Well then. I knew which hobbit hole. But heres the problem. Will Bilbo let me in?


	2. Let the game commence

**I do not own HOBBIT. I only own my OC.**

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Easton POV

I knocked on the door. I fixed my bag on my shoulders. "Hello?" I see a smaller and politer version of Martin Freeman. I smiled. "A mate of mine told me to go to your house." Bilbo looked at me funny. "Oh, well. Goodbye." He shut the door. But only stopped by a strong hand pushing it. "That is very Rude Mr Baggins." I said walking in Being rude myself. "Nice house, Bilbo." I said putting my bag on the floor. "How do you know my name?" He asked. I stared at him. "I heard things about you in this small village." I answered walking to the pantry. With him at my trail.

"Is it good things or bad things?" He asked. I started to look at the food he had. I didn't turn to face him. "What do you want them to say?" I asked. As he stared at me. I don't know how to describe it. "Are you a ranger? I heard of them before." Bilbo said. I stopped. "No, I am human name Easton Collins.I wish to be a ranger. " I said. "Oi mate. I don't think many of this is cook. Mind cooking?" I asked. He looked at me bewildered. "You're a lady! You can cook." Well... If I think about it. I usually have a take out but I do cook only little.

"Fine." I grumbled. Oh how I wished I have Wifi and just called the pizza man. It would be a lot easier. I started to cook which I think its pork? I regret all those time on Tumblr. Well not really. "So are you going to be leaving soon?" Bilbo asked behind me. Wow I thought he was polite. Seems like he's more like Martin Freeman himself. "Nope. Not with an attitude with that sir." I said flipping the pork. Wait I think it's steak. Yup... It's steak. "Why are you here?" He asked. "I don't really know. My feet just carried me to your door." I said sarcastically. "Erm Okay. I'm just going back to my food." I nodded. "Yeah, you do that." As I started to hum Fall Out Boy.

Until I heard the door. Knowing me, big fan of the hobbit, it wouldn't be Thorin. Damn the man. "BILBO THE DOOR!" I screamed. "YES! I KNOW THAT EASTON." He shouted back. I snickered at the little man's voice. "Dwalin, at your service." I smiled to myself. I blocked out any sound. So I stopped being rude and stopped listening to their conversation. I turn around to see Dwalin looking at me. I sat down in fromt of him and we both started to was a stare off. He blinked, I cheered.

"I am Dwalin. You are?" He greeted. "Easton Collins." I said with a mouthful. "Does you parent teach you manners?" Bilbo asked. I just shrugged. "I don't live them." I said. As there was another knock. Bilbo covered my mouth before I could scream. "Ow! Did you just bite me?" He said walking to the door. "What. NO! Why would you think I would do that?" I asked as Dwalin laughed at me. "Lass, you have a sense of Humour I have never witnessed." I Grinned. I finished my plate and put it in the sink. I sat on the sofa and waited. So I guess I'll try and find my phone.

My phone was 100%. Luckily it didn't break when it dropped, which afterwards I had to explain the device to Thorin. I opened it and I had no wifi. I groaned. Wait...3G. Oh for fuck sakes, I am way to far from Earth. I groaned but decided to go on Flappy Birds which I was lucky to keep. My high score is 5. I'm so great. I stood up and shoved my phone into my bag. I checked everything was in there. Book, check! Swords, check! Headphones, check! Water bottle, Yep! throwing knives, yes, even if I don't even use them.

I got up and went to the dining room to see it full of dwarves and a Wizard. I stopped and stared at them. "What the bloody hell?" I breath. I didn't want to be rude to say all their names. Dwalin looked at me. "Come 'ere, Easton!" He waved to me. I was a bit taller than him but a lot shorter than Gandalf. "What you want?" I asked sitting on the floor. "This is all me friends." He said. I swear this is the total opposite of the movie. Like where the hell is the tough dude of Dwalin? I must have been caught not listening. "Eh, lass. Aren't you listening." Dwalin asked. I smirked. "Of course I was. I can name all of them. Balin, Bifur,Bofur, Bombur, Fili, Kili, Ori,Dori, Nori, Gloin and Oin. Now what were you saying?"

He glared at me as everyone burst into fits of laughter. "I think she'll be a good addition to the company, don't ya think?" Balin asked as everyone nodded. I smiled. "Of course I would be. I mean I am a delight!" I said with butterfly eyes. Soon everyone was up and about. I bump into Fili. "Oh hi." I greeted. "Hello." He said, wow I never thought of this but he is wayyyy cuter than Kili. "So how are you?" I asked. He shrugged. "Alright until I met you." Cheesy. "Not working on me, but keep trying." I said walking off. "Want to play a game?" He asked following me. I turn back to him and shrugged. "Alright." I said I always love a game.

"So I heard you love games?" I looked at him confused. "How do you know?" I asked. "I do now." He smirked, sneeky. "So Let's sweet talk, flirt, laugh, hug and give each other nicknames. And whoever falls in love first. Loses?" I smirked. "You like me don't you?" He nodded. "Well I like you too. But what does the winner gets?" I smiled. "Kiss on the lips by the loser." Fili interject. I smirked. "Alright, be ready to lose." I said stalking away. I can't believe the dwarf I spend fangirl in my room.

Likes me. Like _likes_ me. I but I don't want to lose a game. Not to a dwarf I love from the books. Then I remember. Focus on the storyline. The ending is not going to be the best. Him, his brother and his uncle dies. Not if I change that. Not if I change the story and rewrite the whole thing. This is going to be different. This time the Line of Durin will live.

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**NOTES- Okay, Sorry but chapters are going to be short but I'll try to make them longer if I can. I am going to start naming my chapters, I have also changed the summary. Also I am trying not to make Easton a Mary Sue. So I have to think of flaws. Which one of them is being clumsy. I am basing this on the movie. Also the story is not revolving around the game. So yeah. Oh yeah! That Let's play a game is from a quote you might recognised. I do not own that quote so please do no hate me. ANYWAY...Please tell me what you think.**


	3. And Mr Dramatic Arrives

**I do not own HOBBIT. I only own my OC.**

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Easton POV

Everyone was singing. I laughed at the furious Bilbo. I watched as Fili threw the plates and bowls at Kili. Gandalf moving out of the way, avoiding to be hit. Soon laughter erupted at the dining room. "His face!" Kili exclaimed. As everyone laughed at the shock written over Bilbo's face. Then three big knock shut everyone up. Oh now there is the strong,even more dramatic leader. Thorin is going to kill me if he heard I described him as that.

Everyone looked at each other. "He's here." Gandalf broke the silent. Everyone shuffled towards the door. Dwalin made me stand behind him and Oin. I huffed. But sit down at their feet so I can watch. I am curious, you know? It's one of my flaws. One, I think Bilbo, opened the door. Thorin stepped in and ignored the little man and turn to big man otherwise know Gandalf. "Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door." Thorin being Thorin. You know I never expected him to be like this.

"Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago." Bilbo exclaimed. Shut up Bilbo. You're making a fool of yourself."There is a mark; I put it there myself. Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield." Gandalf said. Typical Wise Man. "So, this is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?" Thorin asked with his ruff voice which I have never heard before.

"Pardon me?" Bilbo asked. Oh for Pete's sake! It's a straight fucking question.I mentally faceplamed."Axe or sword? What's your weapon of choice?" Thorin clarified. I silently groaned. Bilbo is not a kind a man to fight. Everyone knew that. No offence Bilbo but the way you dress gives the impression. What am I going on about? I'm in black skinny jeans but it is very felixable. With a black tank top with a camo shirt, unbutton over it and folded at the elbow. With my black combat boots and my hair in a platt. I must look unusal as well.

ANYWAY... "Well, I have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that's relevant." Bilbo stated. This time I did faceplam myself. "Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." Thorin said. Wow. I stood up. "Wow dude. That's a bit nasty." I perked up. "Ah East! I thought you got lost!" He smirked. I gave him a smug look. "Well I didn't, did I." He laughed. "Nice to see you again." He said sarcastically. "As if I wanted to see you again." I said. "I know." He said back to dwarves all laugh, and they walk back to the dining table. As Thorin eats, the rest of them talk to him.

I sat between Fili and Kili. Fili smirked at me. As I gave him a smug smile. "What pretty boy?" I taunt. He shrugged. "Oh nothing beautiful." He said. Luckily only Kili heard us. He nudge me. "What is going on with you and Fili?" I shrugged. "Nothin. Playing a game: one to fall in love with the other play loses." I said as he nodded understandingly. Kili whispered in my ear. "Shall I be waiting for a wedding invitation?" I hit him."I only met you few hours ago." He chuckled as Fili smiled at me. We started to listen to the conversation.

"What news from the meeting at Ered Luin? Did they all come?" Balin asked. "Aye. Envoys of all seven kingdoms." Thorin confirmed eating his stew. "What do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?" Dwalin asked. He was on the other side of the table. "They will not come. They say this quest is ours, and ours alone." Thorin said. Oh is that when he found me? After the meeting, he found a weird girl. Man, his day must be fucked up. The dwarves murmur in disappointment.

"You're going on a quest?" Bilbo asked out of turn."Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." Gandalf obeyed And Bilbo brings a candle to the table, where Gandalf has spread out a map which was in his pocket."Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak." Gandalf started to explained. "The Lonely Mountain. " Bilbo said as he looked over Thorin's shoulder.

"Aye. Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." Gloin said. "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold: When the birds of old return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end." Beast? Oh yeah the Dragon. Smaug... Or Benedict Cumberbatch. Well Benedict is actually a human just acting Sm-Concentrate East. Bilbo, hearing "the beast," looks concerned.

"What beast?" Bilbo asked, frighten. Who wouldn't be. A hobbit. Me? Only a bit. But damn. I know how to kill that dragon. "Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meathooks, extremely fond of precious metals." Bofur said. I smirked.

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Bilbo catching up. "I'm not afraid! I'm up for it. I'll give him a taste of the Dwarvish iron right up his jacksy." Ori said Standing up. Aw... "Sit down! " Dori said. Pulling his youngest brother down. "The task will be difficult enough with an army behind us. But we number just thirteen. Not thirteen of the best, nor brightest." Balin said. I grinned. Gandalf was certainly the brightest but he leaves like every day. I don't even know how I passed High school, to be honest.

The dwarves start objecting, saying things like, "Who are you calling dim?" "Watch it!" "No!"I nudge Fili to say something."We may be few in number, but we're fighters, all of us, to the last dwarf!" Fili said. Grinning. Strong dwarf he is. Great to be king. "And you forget, we have a wizard in our company. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time." Kili said. I groaned,remember what happens here. Not an argument now.

"Oh, well, now, I wouldn't say -" Gandalf started. I lean back, actually this might be entertaining. "How many, then?" Dori asked."I, uh, what?" Gandalf stuttered "How many dragons have you killed? Go on, give us a number!" Dori insisted. Gandalf embarrassedly starts coughing on his pipe smoke; the dwarves jump to their feet, arguing about the number of dragons Gandalf has looks at me as I giggled at them. Thorin jumps up in anger and bellows, silencing the rest. Which made me jump.

"Atkât! If we have read these signs, do you not think that others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr!" Thorin bellowed.

All the dwarves cheer. "You forget: the front door is sealed. There is no way into the mountain." I started to think Balin is the only one with sense. Not even Gandalf does. Well..."That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." Never mind, Gandalf does have a bit sense,he twiddles something in his fingers, Gandalf produces a dwarvish key, ornately wrought. Thorin looks at it in wonder. "How came you by this?" Thorin asked."It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now." Gandalf explained.

Gandalf hands the key to Thorin as everyone looks on in wonder. "If there is a key, there must be a door." Fili said stating the obvious as I held a sarcastic remark,seeing Thorin send a stern look towards points at runes on his map with his pipe. "These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls." Gandalf said to us. Well this is going to be a long night of explaining...

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**Note- I am sorry if there is any missing parts or terrible grammar. I am not good in my english even if I am from England. I don't even know how I got to the top class. Is it alright? Is my character alright? I mean she is a bit Mary Sue. I think... Please review.**


	4. The last night of comfort

**I do not own HOBBIT. I only own my OC.**

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Easton POV

"There's another way in!" Kili said. What is up with dwarves stating the obvious? Please say it is only dwarves that stats the obvious. If I found out there was another creature doing the same thing. I'll punch them seriously. "If we can find it. Dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle-earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But, if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done." Gandalf explained. I don't know how I am staying awake. I can hardly do that during class.

"That's why we need a burglar." Ori said."And a good one, too. An expert, I'd imagine." Bilbo said. "And are you?" Gloin asked. Yeah he is. He will bloody find a ring that can make you invisible. Which makes everything so much easier. I wish I had one. And why do I always get out of topic? "Am I what?" Bilbo asked. I groaned as Fili and Kili patted my back. I shot them a look saying 'not helping.' They only chuckled. "He said he's an expert! Hey hey!" Oin said jumping to conclusion. I groaned even more. Not only they state the obvious, they jump into conclusion as well.

"Me? No, no, no. I'm not a burglar; I've never stolen a thing in my life." Bilbo interject. Well mate, you're about to steal stuff."I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He's hardly burglar material." Balin was the wise one of the group, no doubt. Bilbo nod in agreement. "Aye, the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Dwalin spoke. I eyed Dwalin before turn to Bilbo. Dwalin is like my Uncle I heard in my dad's stories.

Bilbo continues nodding in agreement; the dwarves begin arguing. Gandalf, growing angry, rises to his full height and casts darkness over the group as starts speaking in his "powerful" voice. The others stop in awe."Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is." Gandalf shouted. Which made me flinched my Fili hand his hand on my hand. Which calm me a bit. Gandalf goes back to his normal self. Good...

"Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest, and he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself. You must trust me on this." Gandalf explained.

"Very well. We'll do it your way. Give him the contract." Thorin said. "Alright, we're off!" Bofur said as Bilbo begins objecting to Thorin and Gandalf, but they ignore him. Balin hands Bilbo a long contract. "It's just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." Balin said. Oh God. Not good for Bilbo. "Funeral arrangements?" Bilbo asked. Well did he fucking stutter? I think not.

As Bilbo steps back a few feet to read the contract, Thorin leans toward Gandalf and whispers to him. I knew what he said. It's in the book and movie. Bilbo reads parts of the contract out loud."'Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth of total profit, if any.' Hmm. Seems fair. 'The present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof including but not limited to lacerations ... evisceration … incineration?" He said shocked. Well more than shocked more like frighten out of his dear life.

I stopped myself laughing at Bilbo's reaction. And I didn't want to be rude. "I feel a bit faint." Bilbo said. "Think furnace with wings." I am so going to like Bofur. "Air, I need air."Bilbo stated. Maybe You need air but this is far more entertaining. "Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof! you're nothing more than a pile of ash." I giggled. Fili looked at me. I shrugged as he turn his attention back to Bilbo.

Bilbo breathes heavily, trying to compose himself as the others stare at him. "No." Bilbo said before fainting."You're very helpful, Bofur." Bofur grinned at the Wizard as Gandalf carried him, Bilbo, out. Thorin stared at me. "How about you East?" I stared back at the company, who was waiting for my answer. "Thorin, you already know that answer." He chuckled. "Even if it involves with a Dragon?" Dwalin asked concern. I shrugged. "Even if it involves with a dragon. Plus I've never seen a dragon. They don't exist in my world." I said.

The dwarves all looked shocked. "Where ye from, lass?" Bombur asked. "London, England." They looked at me funny. I groaned. "Thorin you explained. I'm going to get myself tea. Or something." I said standing up. I looked through the pantry and saw a bit of ale left. I sighed and got some. Damn hobbit! Do they have nothing else to drink. I walked back to the dining room but stopped my Gandalf. "Easton dear. May you get tea for Bilbo?" I nodded. I started to make tea.

But how? They have no kettle to boil water. I groan in frustration as i Just made it. I don't know how I coped. It took 10 bloody minutes and usually I would be 3 minutes to make tea.I handed it to Bilbo who has awoken. He sips on the tea. "This is really good. Thanks Easton." I smiled. That's the nice and Polite hobbit I read and watched. I stroll back in the dining room and saw everyone staring at me. "Thorin what you say?" I growled at him. "He told us that you don't have family!" Nori said. "He also said you fell from the sky! Are you alright?" Oin asked. "What's earth like?" Bombur asked. "I don't have family. I am an orphan since I was ten. Yes, I am alright from the fall. Thanks for asking. Thorin didn't asked."

I smiled at the dwarves. I sat down back between Kili and Fili. "Well, Earth. Is in the middle. The good thing about it is that we have the right of freedom. Ladies like me is allowed to vote, join the army and marry the same gender in certain places. We have Nothing to worry about only little problems. But here's the down side. We have wars. Wars that has been going for months. We have discrimination. Which most people do. People judge people on what race. Like colour, height, Weight, we have sexist people. People who judge the other gender. They think that other gender in unneeded. Stupid. And well a lot of things." I explained.

Shock faces all around the room. "So if we visit, people will judge us?" Bofur asked since his cousin, Bifur asked him. "Yes. Do not be offended. It is a natural thing to do." I said. "Has anyone judge you?" Kili asked. I nodded. "Oh yes. They judge me on my height. Because I am short. Just by looking at me, they'll think your weak and precious." I said. "But they are wrong." Fili smiled. A really cute smile. "Who are they?" Dori asked. "I dunno? Strangers, friend and family. Everyone judge you." I said.

"Wait, you said wars go on for months but how?" Dwalin asked. I shrugged. "I don't know, never joined the army. But people are ignorant to listen. And BAM! War stars to rage. There was once a War that the whole world took part in. They call it world war I and II. Both around the same era. But World War II was more horrifying. We do not like to mention it. That war raged on about four years or something." I said. "Four years?" Nori asked in shock. I shrugged.

"Long time ago. Before I was born hell I wasn't even born in World War II or I. Anyway, long time ago. There was a one hundred years war." I spoke. Not remember who was it against. "How do you keep fighting?" Ori asked. "Actually, we fight very differently to you now. And during the World war I and II. But the one hundred year one. The soldiers sons and nephews join to fight, then their sons and nephew fight. And it goes on. I don't know who won. But it Took one hundred years to settle it." I explained. "How do you know to fight?" Gloin asked. "Did you join the army?' Kili asked forgetting I said before I didn't.

I shook my head. "No, I didn't join the army. I went to a combat and fighting centre since I was 13 years old. My mentor mentors me for free. He was a good friend of my fathers. I learnt how to defend myself. And everyday, when I have the time,I train." I shrugged. "I'm pretty handy what ever comes in my hand really." I said. As the company grinned at me.

Soon after all of dwarves gather in Bilbo's living room, smoking their pipes by the fire. Which I highly found disgusting, I don't like smoking. Do they smoke where everthey go. Thorin was smoking on the way to Bag End. ...They all begin humming, and soon Thorin begins to sing, and the others join him.

"Far over the Misty Mountains cold  
To dungeons deep and caverns old  
We must away ere break of day  
To find our long-forgotten gold

The pines were roaring on the height  
"The winds were moaning in the night  
The fire was red, it flaming spread  
The trees like torches blazed with light"

Everyone started to move around the house to sleep. I turn to Thorin. "Pa. Do you think he'll be coming?" I asked. Yes The company knows the little incident about the Pa thing. "I think he will. But many disagree." I sighed. "Night Pa." I hugged him as I lied down near the fire. Someone laid on my Right. I turn and saw Fili. Next to him Kili, who seemingly fell asleep quickly like most of the dwarves. Fili looked at me. I shifted closer to him as I put my left hand on his right side of his chest as I put my right hand on his left side of his chest. I lean my head on his shoulder. As he kiss my forehead. I slowly fell asleep to the sound of cracking fire and his heart beat.


	5. Bets and a stupid game

**I do not own HOBBIT. I only own my OC.**

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Easton POV

I woke up. The fire died away and still many of us was asleep. Luckily for me Fili had no arms around me so I stood up. I noticed Bofur and Bombur was the only ones awake seeing they aren't asleep. I walked over many sleeping bodies and went to the kitchen. "What smells so good here?" I asked, Bofur turned around and smiled. "Breakfast!" He exclaimed. Giving me a weird hug. "Morning." Bombur greeted. I nodded in respond. "Since you're the first up, other than us, We want you try something." Bofur pushed me into a seat.

"Oh, okay. Bofur, you see so lively today. Did someone put sugar in your food?" I asked laughing at the funny dwarf eagerness. He shook his head as Bombur put a plate in front of me. It had bacon,lots of it, sausages and pancakes. I smiled. "This looks delicious." I started to eat. I was hungry, I didn't eat anything last night. I finished my food within minutes. "My god. That was just amazing!" I said as Bombur smiled. "My,my! Lass is hungry feed her more!" Bofur said. I smiled sheepishly but nodded. He put another plate in front of me. Half way from finishing it. Kili walked in tired. "Hi!" I said with food in my mouth.

I chewed it down and smiled. He only chuckled and started to eat his breakfast. Soon I finished my plate. I gave a loud burp. They all burst out laughing. "You, my friend, are not ladylike." I shrugged. "Who said I was Prince?" I said as Kili put his hands up in defence. Then Fili walked in. "Hello sleepy beauty." I teased. As he glared at me. "Morning to you too, love." He took a seat next to me. As the brothers of Ur looked confused. This is where Kili explained the game. "They're playing a game. Where whoever falls in love first with the other person loses." Bofur and Bombur nodded.

"I bet Fili will lose." Kili and Bofur betted. "Nah Easton will lose." Bombur said as Nori entered. "Me too, sorry Easton." I shrugged. "Only you guys can know. If Thorin finds out. He'll kill all of us." They nodded. "What does the winner gets?" Nori asked. "A kiss from the loser." Fili said. "And a lot of money." I smirked. "Wait! We didn't agree on that!" Fli exclaimed. "Well, you do now." I stuck my tongue out as he did the same.

I stood up and put my plate in the sink. I sat back down and tea was in front of me. I looked up and thanked Bofur. "So who'll be the next one to wake?" Bombur asked. "Thorin. That man will find us missing and he'll try to find us." I said as everyone nodded. Then he walked in. Thorin I mean. I coughed out." Told ye so." Thorin stared at me then sat at the end of the table.

Soon one by one a dwarf came in. The others gave me and Fili a suspicious look. As Bofur,Bombur,Kili and Nori all smirked. Then we were all outside. There was Gandalf counting us. I pulled my bag more on my shoulder. "Aye! East! Do yah know how to ride a pony?" Bofur asked. "Nope." I said. Then all of the sudden, two dwarves, Kili and Nori, lifted me onto the back of Fili's horse. "Hello beautiful." I could sense he was smirking. I shot Nori and Kili a look. "You told them didn't you?" He shook his head. "No, they did it themselves." I growled but wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Hold on love." He said calmly. "Oh shush up, Prince." I said. As he rode along side to Kili and since Thorin can't wait for the hobbit we had to leave. Oh yeah! I forgot to mention... I signed the contract. "Who want's to bet with me?" I asked as all the dwarves' head snapped over to my attention. Fli would be he couldn't. "What's the bet, lass?" Dwalin call from the front. "I'll bet ya, Bilbo will come!" I smirked as most if the dwarves protested. Some didn't. Bets were being held. I held my breath, hoping Bilbo will come. Since I was moneyless.

"I can't believe You can't ride a pony." Kili joked as Bofur went up to the other side of me and Fili. "Well, maybe I don't like riding. I prefer a car." Then I noticed what I said. "What's a car?" Nori asked from behind. I hit my head on Fili's shoulder. Then groan. "It's a thing you can move in without walking or running. Like a horse but enough space and things to put in." I explained. "How many can fit in?" Kili asked. I shrugged. "Depends on the size... My car can fit five. But some car can fit seven..." They nodded. "Is it faster than a horse?" Bofur asked. I nodded. "When It wants to." I spoke.

"Wait! Wait!" I heard a distance dwarves shout "Woah!" and stop their ponies. Bilbo catches up to them and hands Balin the contract."I signed it!" Bilbo said panting.  
Balin takes the contract and inspects it with a pocket-glass. He then smiles at Bilbo."Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." Balin said.

The dwarves cheer. Thorin doesn't look too must be having one of those days."Give him a pony." He growled the order."No, no, no, that won't be necessary. I'm sure I can keep up on foot. I- I- I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know. I even got as far as Frogmorton once - WAGH!"Bilbo's speech is cut off as two of the dwarves ride alongside him and pick him up from behind to put him on a pony. I didn't see which two dwarves it was.

Bilbo is riding a pony and looking quite terrified. The pony neighs and tosses its head, making him quite uncomfortable.."Come on, Nori, pay up." Oin said with tosses a sack of money to Oin; sacks of money begin passing between the dwarves. I go my money from Dwalin and Nori. "What's that about?" I over heard Bilbo as Someone flung money to Fili. He smiles, proud that he won the bet.

"Oh, they took wagers on whether or not you'd turn up. Most of them bet that you wouldn't." Gandalf explained."What did you think?" Bilbo catches a sack of money tossed to him and puts it in his bag. "My dear fellow, I never doubted you for a second." Gandalf said. "Thank God I won the bet. I don't have any money on me." I said to Fili. Although I did know he was coming.

Bilbo sneezes loudly. "All this horse hair, I'm having a reaction." Bilbo said as I watch him search in his pockets for his handkerchief. He is unable to find it, and he looks up in shock. "No, wait, wait, stop! Stop! We have to turn around." Bilbo said. I rolled my eyes. "He can't do that,can he?" I asked as Fili shook his entire company comes to a halt, and the dwarves start objecting and asking what the problem is. I know how to guys feel.

"What on earth is the matter?" Gandalf asked, annoyed like most of us. "I forgot my handkerchief." Bilbo responded as I groaned. "Dear God, please do not make Bilbo even more idiotic as he is already." As Fili started to chuckle at my statement. Bofur pulls a filthy handkerchief out of his pocket and tosses it to Bilbo. "Here! Use this." As he flings the dirty handkerchief towards Bilbo. Bilbo catches the handkerchief and look at it in disgust. "You'll have to manage without pocket-handkerchiefs and a good many other things, Bilbo Baggins, before we reach our journey's end. You were born to the rolling hills and little rivers of the Shire, but home is now behind you; the world is ahead." Gandalf said.

I knew this journey is going to long. I pulled out my phone from my bag that the pony was carrying. I started to play flappy birds since what else is going to keep me entertain?Thorin looked over to me to see if I was alright. But I wasn't. STUPID BIRD! "East are you alright?" He called. "HuH? What? Yeah. Just on my phone... Playing a highly stupid game." As I started to tap quickly to get that fat bird through the pipe. "What's a phone?" Balin asked. "Great more explaining. It's this." I said showing them my Iphone 5s. "Its a device that runs on technology. You can make calls to another person. Text which is another way to send a letter but much quicker way. You can play music as well, but you might not like my music taste. You can play games. And such." I explained.

"DAMN THIS BIRD!" I shouted making everyone jump. "What is Technolgy?" Ori asked as he was scribbled all this down. "Technology. Spelt T.E.C.H.N.O.L.O.G.Y." As I started to explain technology. Which spent longer than I thought because people rudely interrupted. Which was Kili and Bofur. And Nori. Goddamn those Dwarves. They are certainly the mischief ones. I spend my self one my phone with my head phones in. Listening to my music. And playing games.


	6. Story time

**I do not own HOBBIT. I only own my OC.**

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Easton POV

Finally!The company has camped for the night near the edge of a cliff. As Gloin sleeps, tiny flying insects get sucked into his mouth every time he inhales, and they are expelled when he exhales. Bilbo and I watched in disgust, Bilbo then finally gets up and walks around. Most of the dwarves are asleep; Gandalf, Fili, and Kili are awake. Bilbo walks over to his pony and gives her an apple, after checking to see that no one is looking. Bad luck though, but I was hardly paying any attention.

Bilbo hears a strange noise in the night air and becomes worried. He runs over to Fili and Kili. Which I was also there. Cuddling up to the boys. Mostly Fili even if he was smoking his pipe. I had my head on his shoulder and my arms around his waist. He had one arm around me protectively. I was about to fall asleep."What was that?" Bilbo asked. Only me barely hearing since I was so close to falling asleep. I opened my eyes waiting for a response.

"Orcs." Kili said, Thorin who was dozing, jerks awake upon hearing the word "Orcs." I shut my eyes, again close to falling asleep. "Orcs?" Bilbo asked. Yes, Bilbo. orcs. Evil and Horrid peices of Shit. Disgusting and ugly. That's was what they are. Heartless souled bitch. "Throat-cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them." Fili said in a serious tone. "They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet; no screams, just lots of blood." Kili said with,for once, a serious tone.

Bilbo must have looked frightened. Fili and Kili look at each other, I could feel Fili's neck movement, and begin laughing. I hit Fili on the chest and Kicked Kili. Meaning to shut up for two things. One, so I can fall asleep and Two, Orc raid is not funny. "You think that's funny? You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?" Thorin asked harshly. This time I'm on team Thorin. "We didn't mean anything by it." Kili said with a bit of pain, since I kicked him a bit too hard.

"No, you didn't. You know nothing of the world." Thorin walks off to the edge of the cliff and looks out over the valley. I could hear his footsteps fade into the distance. "Don't mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs. After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy had got there first." Balin said. Wait... I thought he was asleep.

"Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs lead by the most vile of all their race: Azog, the Defiler. The giant Gundobad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by beheading the King." Balin started to tell a story. One by on I see a dwarf up and listening. By see, I sense because I literally want my sleep. Here. "Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing, taken prisoner or killed, we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us." Balin said.

Man, this story is actually Good. It's putting me to sleep. Please note that was sarcasm. This story is great. But heard it so many time.."That is when I saw him: a young dwarf prince facing down the Pale Orc." Balin said. "He stood alone against this terrible foe, his armor rent, wielding nothing by an oaken branch as a shield" Balin carried on with his story. "Azog, the Defiler, learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken." Of course It wouldn't until the end of the story, the battle of five armies.

"Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back. Our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast, nor song, that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived." Balin carried on. Seriously this story isn't finished? "And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call King." I opened my eyes and yawn. I see Thorin glaring at the view. I turn to see the company awake. And was listening.

"But the pale orc? What happened to him?" Bilbo asked. "He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago." Thorin sneered. I lifted my head up from Fili shoulder. "I thought you were asleep, lass!" Dwalin said. "I wish I was. But these idiots couldn't keep their mouth shut." I glared at them. I lean back on the rock behind us. "You kick pretty hard for a lady." Kili said. "Punch hard too." Fili said. "Seriously? You shouldn't kick that hard." Dori said. I growled. Thorin and the rest nodded. "Give me one reason not to strangle you." I said. "Because we need all of these to reclaim the mountain." Gandalf said.

I sighed. "You guys are sexist." I muttered. "What did ye say lass?" Oin asked. "Maybe can not tell us the truth." Dwalin said as everyone laughed. Soon he was on the floor with a blade on his neck. "Do not underestimate me, Mister Dwalin. I am more than a pretty little girl." I snarled. He tried to push me off. "Think what you say, or next time sleep with one eye opened." I said warning all the others. I took my place back between the boys.

"This is what you get for getting interruption in my sleep." I hissed at the boys. "Wow, never knew you could be..." Fili started. "Chose your words carefully." I said with my eyes closes, I started to drift off. "Strong?" He asked. "Believe it or not. Many girls in my world are strong, most of them are suicidal." I said as I drifted into a nice slumber...


	7. Travelling more

**I do not own HOBBIT. I only own my OC.**

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Easton POV

I woke up. I was greeted by Nori who was on watch. "Morning Nori." I said sitting next to him. "Morning Easton." He said, as usual smoking his pipe. "Seriously do you have anything better to do than smoke?" I pulled a disgusted face. He laughed but shrugged. "Why do you hate smoking?" He asked. I sighed. "My mother smoked. That's how she died. The tobacco made her even more sick. Until she died when I was seven." I explained. He put out his pipe. "Well! Not to worry yourself Easton! I'll stop smoking for ya!" I smiled cheekily at him. "And how bout the others?" I said turning to the sleeping bodies.

He shrugged. "Ori doesn't smoke nor does my older brother. Dori tries to get me out of smoking." I nodded. "Well, good on him." I said. "So tell me about yourself?" Nori asked. I rolled my eyes at the dwarfs curiosity. "My full name is Easton Honour Collins. Weird name, I know." I said as Nori shot me a look, an amusing look. I kicked him. "Creative parents okay?" I said. He burst out laughing but not enough to wake everyone.

"My friends gave me the nickname of Sly, because I often do pranks, creep up to people and scare the shit outta people's life." He chuckled. "Yanno I might start calling you that." I glared at him. "You better fucking not! I hate that nickname!" I said. "Make me not say it,Sly." I tackled him down, as he tried to get me off. Soon I was on the floor and he was on the otherside. I sat up and faced him. "I'm still not going to let it down,Sly" I groaned. "Fine then. I'm going to wake up the others. The sun is going to be high." I stood up and kicked all of them awake.

But Thorin hard since he refused to wake up. "Get up you ignoront pigs." I hissed at all of them. They all groaned and had their hands on their side. "Kili was kidding when he said you kick hard." Thorin grumbled. I rolled my eyes. "Right now my favourite is Nori since he isn't being the annoying One." The dwarves protested. Nori smiled. "Hah! Favoured by Sly." I kicked him once more. "Dude, seriously..the nickname?" He laughed. "Your fault for telling me." I stood up and started to pack."Your fault for asking about me? Now do you want to know more or not?" I snapped. Everyone nodded as the started to pack. "I was born in Ireland, but moved to London when I was four."

"I was born on January 16th. I am 20 years old but in your world I am 80 years old or something." I said. "Aw! You're older than me!" Kili said. I rose an eye brow. "How old are you?" I asked. "77" I smirked. "Aw Yeah!" I fist pumped the air. They chuckled at my reaction. How can I forget? I am older that Kili and Ori!

Soon we were on the ponies again, this time I was riding with Kili. Who couldn't stop making me laugh. "Stop." I gasped for air. The dwarves looked at me weirdly. "Next time I'm riding with Bofur!" I announced. "He'll be a better company than you are." Bofur smiled. "A lass, I feel honoured!" Nori gave me a glance. I rolled my eyes. "Can I please do switchies?" I called to Thorin. "No." He replied. "Please Pa!" He waved his hand. I smiled. Alright. I grabbed my bag. "What are you doing?" Fili asked from my side. "This." I pushed off from Kili's horse.

Jumped onto Fili's horse. I almost fell. "Uhh." I said as I balanced myself. I soon jumped to Nori then Ori and lastly Bofur. I sat down quietly. Actually no-one noticed only Kili, Fili, Nori and Ori since they were at the back. "HI BOFUR!" I screamed. "AHH! Ye Scared me lass!"I grinned. "Well it's in my nature." He laughed as we carried on riding.

* * *

Weeks passed nothing has attacked us yet. It was raining. I love the rain. I was riding with Fili. It was the first time it has rained in Middle Earth. And all I can hear is the dwarves Complaining. But Bilbo. I groaned. "Mr. Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori asked. Well more like screamed with politeness. Can you be grateful for rain? I mean come live in England it literally rains 24hours.

"It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard." Good on you Gandalf. Good on you. "Are there any?" Bilbo asked."What?" Gandalf asked not understanding the question. "Other wizards?" Bilbo clarified. "There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman, the White. Then there are the two Blue wizards; you know, I've quite forgotten their names." I wonder what is the blues wizard's names. It would be so cool To know. Maybe they had descendant? But, Its Gandalf. He's showing his old age.

"And who is the fifth?" Bilbo asked. As his hair lies flat on his head. "Well, that would be Radagast, the Brown." Gandalf said, looking at the short man. "Is he a great Wizard or is he... more like you?"Gandalf looks slightly offended. Well actually more than slightly. Like Hella offended. Okay... I admit I spend way too much time on tumblr."I think he's a very great wizard, in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the East, and a good thing too, for always Evil will look to find a foothold in this world." Gandalf's wise word. Ah.. Bless his soul.

* * *

It was getting dark. Well... Not dark just close to the sun setting. We stop at a abandon place. "We camp here tonight." Thorin's voice rang. We all jump off our ponies and started to get ready For the night. Although Gandalf was not happy. He shot me a look saying "I need to talk to you later." I sighed. What does the great wizard want from me?

Gandalf stomps off angrily, almost leaving the Company. He was stopped by the voice of Bilbo. "Everything alright? Gandalf, where are you going?" Gandalf was already pissed."To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense." I stopped myself from butting in."Who's that?" Bilbo asked. Who else Bilbo? Sometimes I wonder if he got hit on the head when he was younger.

"Myself, Mr. Baggins! I've had enough of dwarves for one day." Gandalf stormed off. Drama Queen. "Come on, Bombur, we're hungry." Thorin ordered. I rolled my eyes at Thorin's lack of care. I walked over to Thorin. "Aren't you concern about Gandalf, Thor?" I smirked at the use of Thor. He glared at me. "He is a Wizard. He can perfectly take care of himself." Thorin growled."Fili, Kili! Look after the ponies. "Is he coming back?" I over heard Bilbo ask Balin. Balin looks unsure.

Nighttime came. Dinner wasn't prepared yet. I sat next to Bilbo. Who looked worried. "Hey." I greeted. "Hi." He said deadpanned. "Bilbo are you alright? I mean like few weeks ago, I met a small guy with a lot of emotion. Now I can only see..." I stopped looking for the right word. "Well... Emotionless." Bilbo sighed. "It's the adventure, I guess being around the dwarves had made me think. They are good company but I am just homesick." I nodded understandingly. "Yeah, I feel you right there Bilbo. Though, you'll somehow find them as family. The most unnatural family, you'll ever get." I said as he smiled.

"Thank Easton. You really do help." I shrugged. "I've been alone half my life. My friends left me to do other stuff. My family died. Strangers never gave a single look." He looked at me shocked. "Half your life, you are alone?" I nodded. "Never got on well with anyone. Usually got into arguments Which led into fights. No one would even adopt me. I guess I was the Under Dog." Bilbo looked at me. "Your life must be hard!" He said, I nodded in agreement. "I guess my world is a mess." I stated.

Bombur has prepared a dinner of soup, and the dwarves are eating it. I enjoy the food was given to me. But I do miss the food back in Earth. I sat down by Bofur's feet since he was giving me company. Nori was of doing something else and Fili and Kili was watching the ponies."He's been a long time." Bilbo said walking towards me and Bofur. "Who?" Bofur asked pouring soup into bowls. "Gandalf." Bilbo responded.

"Don't worry about the man, Bilbo!" I said, stuffing the soup into my mouth."He's a wizard! He does as he chooses. Here, do us a favor: take this to the lads." Bofur said. Passing the two bowls to Bilbo. I see Bombur trying to get more. Bofur hit his brother's head with a spoon. And said "Stop it, you've had plenty."


	8. Trolls

**I do not own HOBBIT. I only own my OC.**

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Easton POV

I watch Bofur fiddling with some wood. What does he do for a living? Oh that's right toy maker! "Hey, Bofur." I tried to get his attention. "Yeah, lass!" He said not looking at me. But kept his eyes on the wood. "What you making?" He laughed at my curiousity. He shrugged. "I don't know yet. Maybe a fairy. Or a princess." I took a look what he was doing. He was going a figurine."That's so cool!" I smiled as he laughed. "When I'm finished you can have it." My eyes must went wide as I gave him the biggest hug. "Thank you! You're amazing." He laughed once more. "It's alright, lass." I gave him a cheeky smile.

I move to get something out of my bag. Don't even ask how I can fit my swords in there. It's like the bloody TARDIS. Until Fili and Kili come back running. "Trolls! They've got two ponies! Bilbo is gone to get them!" They both rushed to say. Everyone literally dropped what ever they were doing and grabbed their weapons. I was about to charge with them but was dragged away by someone. "Huh?" I asked and turned. And see Gandalf." Oh hello." I said.

"I need to talk to you." He said. "But! But the dwarves!" I said. "Do not worry they are fighting. It will last for an hour." I sighed. "Alright what do ya want?" I asked. "I know that you are a fan of the writings of Tolkien." My eyes widen. How does one simply know him? He doesn't live in our world! I nodded slowly. "You know how it ends?" I gulped. Of course I do! I have read Hobbit so many times. "Yes." I breath out. "You can change that." I shook my here it is a fucking prophecy! Like nearly every fucking book has one. "What is the prophecy." He eyed me before telling me it...

"A girl dress in black,brown and green.

Sword in hand and lean on her lover's chest.

She not only saved the Durin Line but her friends.

She is a mess.

She dies, he lives, She laughs as he cries.

May this all change."

I furrowed my eyebrows in ? What did I just fucking hear? Oh yeah I FUCKING DIE?! Well at lease I am saving the Durin Line. Which is more important than me. "You can change the whole journey." Gandalf said. "Please, I am already playing a game with one of the dwarves. Does not effect the journey?" He smiles. "A lot." He replied. I looked down with sword in hand. "Can I please think over this?" He nods. I see the dwarves fighting still. I ran up next to Fili. "Sup." I greeted. "Sup?" He replied. "What does that mean?" I mentally facepalm. Damn my tongue!

"I'll explain it later!" I said as I cut the trolls leg. What was his name? Oh yeah Tom or Will? Nope it was Bert. The head of the three. "If we survive! It looks like we are going to be dinner!" Fili replied. I scowled at him as soon as I knew it. I was next to Thorin with a pile of some of the dwarves. I glared at the fire as if it had done something to me."East, are you alright?" Thorin asked. I nodded in Respond. Everyone was either over the fire or in the pile. I groaned.

"This is not normal." I hissed, as I rolled over to my stomach and lied my head on the leafie floor. I don't even think leafie is an actual word. I hate this part other than the ending. I see Fili trying to mouth words to me. I wish I knew but I don't. Come on Bilbo do something! You're turn to shine. As if I had a time to shine.

"Why bother cooking them? Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly." Will said. If I recall they did have normal names For a troll. What was Tolken thinking about? "They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage." I think it was Bert... The leader, mostly likely. If it is based on the book mostly likely to happen. I don't remember ther movie. I preferred the book. "Ooh, that does sound quite nice." Hmm. I wonder what human taste like? Now I sound like Hannibal. Will, was the stupid one. Quite obvious.

"Never mind the seasoning; we ain't got all night! Dawn ain't far away, so let's get a move on. I don't fancy being turned to stone." Or was it Tom? Was Tom the leader? I give up on trolls! I hoped it would be like Harry Potter! They were kinda , hearing what Tom said, perked up. I smirked and kicked him. I nodded as he spoke."Wait! You are making a terrible mistake." A Terrible one? More likely A fucked up mistake.

"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits!" Dori shouted. "Half-wits? What does that make us?" Bofur said offenened. "Complete idiots with a brain size as a pea?" I shouted back the offer as most the dwarves glared at me as the others smiled. Hay! Just trying to lift up the manages to stand up, although still tied up in a sack. He faces the trolls."I meant with the, uh, with the seasoning." I stared at him. How can I help? I mean... Gandalf told me I can change the story any time.

"What about the seasoning?" Bert turned to Bilbo. I stopped myself from laughing seeing one of the biggest creature in Middle Earth going against the smallest creatures in Middle Earth. "Well have you smelt them? You're going to need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up." I growled. Then realised. "We haven't washed in days. I don't think we'll taste good!" Thorin glared at me as the dwarves yelled at Bilbo and I, calling him a traitor. The Others send their threats at me.

I rolled my eyes. The dwarves in the pile with me kicked me hard. Shit mate. I am going to have a bruise there! Not only I know I am not going to get sleep. But I'll be limping because of the dwarves' kicks. Where is their respect for women? Oh wait, they respect dwarf women since they are rare. "Ow, that hurts." Thorin eyed me. "Mate, leave me alone." Forgetting my manners. "Sorry, I am just in a prissy mood." As he nodded understandingly.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" Yes what do you know about cooking dwarves,Bilbo? Good question Tom."Shut up. Let the, uh, flurgaburburrahobbit talk." Dori was right, half wits. "Uh, the secret to cooking dwarf is, um-" Bilbo shot me a look."Yes? Come on, tell us the secret." One of them said, bert. "Um, yes, I'm telling you, the secret is … to skin them first!" I laughed as Thorin shot me a glare. Major objections from the dwarves. They threaten to beat and kill Bilbo.

"Tom, get me the filleting knife."I scoffed as Tom snarled."What a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scuff them, I say, boots and all."Bilbo sees Gandalf slipping behind some trees nearby. I could see him as well. Man, Balin wasn't joking dwarves aren't intelligent "He's right! Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf! Nice and crunchy." It grabs Bombur, who is in a sack, and dangles him upside down over his mouth, about to eat him.

"NO!" I shouted. They stopped. "Look! Women flesh!" As William flings Bombur back and grabbed me. I shot Bilbo a look. "Not that one, she's infected!" I nodded in agreement. "You what?" I glared at Tom. "I AM BLOODY INFECTED! DIDN'T YOU BLOODY HEAR?" The dwarves stopped their complains as they were shock at my outburst. Man, I need sleep. "She's got worms in her … tubes." I smiled at the Troll as he threw me back to the pile. I landed on Thorin. "Hola!" I greeted. Then whine. Thorin looked at me, it was a concern look.

"In fact they all have it, they're all infested with parasites. It's a terrible business; I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't." Bilbo reasoned, I smirked. GO BILBO GO! "Parasites, did he say parasites?" Well, that backfired. Thanks Oin, no wonder dwarves are dim."We don't have parasites! You have parasites!" Of course you don't you stupid toe-rag. I shouldn't be saying that should I?

The rest of the dwarves chime in about how they don't have parasites and how Bilbo is a fool. Bilbo rolls his eyes as the dwarves mess up his plan. "Shut the fuck you will you?" i asked but the complains were too , understand Bilbo's plan, kicks the others. I chuckled as they send me then understand and go along with it. "I've got parasites as big as my arm." That doesn't sound completely right. Believeable I must say. Oin you got a wild mind.

"Mine are the biggest parasites, I've got huge parasites!" Okay, Kili no need to over do that All the dwarves begin proclaiming about how they're "riddled" with parasites. "I have the worst!" I shouted. "What would you have us do, then, let 'em all go?" Tom asked of course he didn't want to asked that question. "Yes!"I shouted while Bilbo said "Well..."

"You think I don't know what you're up to? This little ferret is taking us for fools!" Damn Tom, you went too far."Ferret?" Bilbo questioned. "I believe he is more of a meerkat than a ferret." I spoke up as Bilbo glared at me."Sorry." I mouthed to him. "Fools?" Bert asked. "More like idiots with a brain size of a pea." I coughed out as Kili sends me a crazy look.

Gandalf appears on top of a large rock above the clearing. I smiled. "The dawn will take you all!" Gandalf being Gandalf, has to make an entrance. "Who's that?" Bert asked. "Wizard!" I responded. But they seem not to hear."No idea." Tom said. "Can we eat him too?" William asked. "Don't they fucking think about it, he is the only choice to save us." I grumbled. He, Gandalf, cracked the rock to show daylight.

The Trolls started to scream in pain. "Now they fucking know, how it is to feel pain." I grumbled once more. Soon they turned to stone. We got out of the bags or off the pole thingy. "Hey sunshine, you okay?" Fili asked as he grabbed my side to keep me stable. "I think so." I replied. He frowned in my dismay.


End file.
